Jenny Everywhere In Oz - edited version

Jenny Everywhere In Oz
By
Kass Stone
The character of Jenny Everywhere is available for use by anyone, with only one condition. This paragraph must be included in any publication involving Jenny Everywhere, in order that others may use this property as they wish. All rights reversed.

The big semi-truck slid sideways up the highway with its breaks and tires screeching. The vehicle became a blur of moving parts and noise before taking the form of a three- story tall robot. Jenny pulled herself off of the pavement and ran between the feet of the mechanical, alien warrior just as its arch-nemesis came crashing down from the air. Where Jenny once stood was now another giant, extraterrestrial robotic warrior. The newcomer let out a metallic laugh and shot the semi-truck android in the chest with a blast from its laser cannon.
“This is not as fun as it looked on TV,” grumbled Jenny as she closed her eyes and focused on the pulsating rhythms of the multiverse.
A robot soldier/VW Bug exploded into a million pieces just a few yards to Jenny’s right. Chunks of smoldering metal and rubber rained down. A gateway appeared in Jenny’s mind and she focused. A flaming tire came hurtling down towards her. The gateway opened and Jenny “shifted” through it.
***
Sparks rained down as Jenny shifted into the new reality. A spark fell between the folds of her scarf. She screamed and slapped at the burn, hoping to prevent the scarf from going up in flames. Red laser beams flew overhead. She fell to her stomach, pulled the aviator goggles from on top of her head and snapped them over her eyes.
More soldiers! This time dressed in white and black body armor. The white soldiers fired large laser rifles and appeared to make steady progress up the corridor they were fighting in. Jenny rolled out of the way and pressed herself up against the metal wall. A panel just above her head flashed instructions in an alien language.
Coming up the opposite end of the corridor were skinny, bird-like robots firing away with their own large laser rifles.
“Ugh, more gun loving robots,” groaned Jenny and immediately began focusing on new pathways.
Green and red lasers filled the air. Every now and then the zapping, shrieking sounds of the guns would be punctuated by a scream. Another doorway opened up and she went through.

***
Jenny ran her fingers through her short, spiky hair and sighed. She slipped the goggles back to their place atop her head and wiped the sweat from her brow.
“I’ve got to start picking better universes to visit. I’m tired of all this gunplay,” mumbled Jenny as she pulled herself off of the packed dirt floor.
A quick examination of her surroundings confirmed that the room she was in was part of a series of caverns. On the walls hung heavy tapestries depicting witches and wizards huddled over cauldrons, summoning demons and all sorts of other magical business. There were bookshelves creaking under the weight of thick, heavy tomes. Tables laden with gurgling vials and mysterious looking jars cluttered the place while a black cauldron hung in a rough hewn fireplace.
On the far side of the room was a large aquarium filled with blue tinged water. Swimming back and forth in the tank was a big, pink brain. The brain propelled itself by moving the stem hanging from its base back and forth like a fish’s tail.
Jenny walked over to the tank and tapped on the glass with a rough, chipped fingernail. The brain darted away from her side of the tank. She examined the nails on her hands. The black fingernail polish she put on back when she was visiting the Green Lama had almost completely vanished.
“See something you like?,” asked a hissing voice from behind her.
Jenny made to turn in order to face the speaker but a hard blow to the side of her head sent the Shifter unconscious to the floor.

A strange sensation brought Jenny to. A rough, wet tongue was licking her knee through the hole in her black tights. She opened her eyes and saw that the tongue belonged to a large, frightening looking beast with the head of a tiger and body of a bear. Jenny was suspended above the floor in a cramped metal cage and the animal was standing on its hind legs to reach her.
“Are you making friends or are you hungry?,” the girl asked the animal.
A chorus of growls from a half dozen other tiger-headed, bear-bodied creatures answered the question for her. Jenny tried to raise herself up but was stuck in a kneeling, bent over position due to the tight dimensions of the pen she was trapped in.
The big animals circled below her. They were obviously looking forward to devouring her. It also sounded as if they were laughing.
“Hey, do you guys talk,” Jenny asked the creatures. “It’s no big deal. I’ve met plenty of talking animals in my travels.”
The largest of the animals quickly sat on his haunches and cleared his throat.
“Yes, we do talk and yes, we are planning on eating you,” the creature said. “We are the Crrrowwll Pack of Kalidahs in the service of the great liberator Mogo of the Southeast!”
“Kalidahs! You’re kalidahs,” Jenny shouted with sudden recognition. “This must be Oz! I love Oz. I was hoping I’d land here eventually.”
The kalidahs starred at her with blank eyes. The silence was broken by a hissing scream.
“Do not eat her yet! I need her. She is full of strange magic,” said a very tall blue skinned woman dressed in traditional witch garb of black frock dress, thick soled boots with narrow toes and tall, pointy black hat.
The woman would have been beautiful if not for the fact that she was missing a nose. She had only a pair of nostril slits which flared with rage as she stood in the entrance to the room. Orange eyes glared out from her face while a green tongue ran across thin, purple lips.
“Magic? What are you talking about, lady?,” demanded Jenny.
“Oh, you can’t hide your magic from me. I am Lady Mogo, the greatest sorceress in Oz. I studied under the Wicked Witch of the East herself and have spent the past decades in hiding, practicing my art and waiting to spring my vengeance on Glinda, Ozma and all of their allies,” said the witch.
“Look,” said Jenny, “I think it’s really cute and all. Really, I do. This out for vengeance plot with your cartoon animal goons and secret hideout is quite charming. It really is. The problem is that you guys never get away with this kind of thing and on top of that you are obviously stupid. What I’m capable of has nothing to do with magic.”
A rattling, shuttering sound, like old bones being blown across the desert, arose from Mogo. The kalidahs backed away and out of the room. The witch began trembling and streams of green and violet energy coursed about her hands.
Jenny began rocking the cage back and forth, causing it to swing on its chain. Mogo threw a crackling ball of energy at Jenny just as the cage reared away from the witch. The energy ball severed the chain. The cage crashed to the floor and Jenny was expelled through the locked door and out onto the packed dirt floor.
The Shifter bolted for the entrance. The witch chased after. Jenny reached into a hip pocket of her cargo skirt and pulled out a large, yellow egg. She tossed the egg in Mogo’s path as if it were a hand grenade. The egg split open and a long, writhing feline-headed dragon came exploding out of it.
Cat-Faced Dragons are hatched full size and furious. The gold and blue monster sprayed orange and yellow flames at Mogo. A shield materialized in the witch’s hand. Flames flicked along the edges of the shield and singed her fingers. The sorceress promised herself that she would personally choke the life out of Jenny with her bare hands.

Jenny ran as fast as she could out of the cave and through the thick wilderness waiting outside. Soon the sound of her Doc Martins pounding on the forest floor was louder than the battle between the witch and dragon.
She had the ability to shift out this reality when she felt like it, but the opportunity to save Oz from an actual wicked witch was too much for Jenny to resist. The idea that just around the next tree could be the Tin Woodwan or Scarecrow motivated her to run even when it felt as if her heart was about to burst in her chest.
After nearly twenty minutes of running, a road appeared. Jenny stopped at the roadside and struggled to regain her breath. Little dots of light floated in her vision as her heartbeat slowed and her lungs quit struggling. With her heart beat no longer sounding like a bass drum in her head, Jenny was able to hear the clop-clopping sound coming her way down the brick paved road.
What came trotting up the road made Jenny clap her hands in excitement. It was the Saw-Horse and riding on top of the roughly made wooden horse was none other than Jack Pumpkinhead himself. The stick man with the jack-o-lantern head waved at the beaming Jenny and The Saw-Horse came to a stop along side of her.
“Hello, stranger,” said Jack. “My pumpkin is getting kind of soft, but you look like you are not from around here.”
Jenny laughed and wrapped her arms around the Saw-Horse’s neck.
“Pretty friendly where you come from, eh?,” asked the Saw-Horse.
“You have to forgive me,” giggled a slightly star-struck Shifter. “My name is Jenny Everywhere. I’m from . . .”
“America,” interrupted Jack. “You sound a lot like Dorothy does and she is from America, though you don’t exactly look like her. You kind of resemble the Chinese people in the picture books of the rest of the world Dorothy has but you also look kind of like the Indians from America in the other book Dorothy showed me. Are you an Indian, Chinese or something else?”
“Yep,” said Jenny with a smile. “I can also travel from one world to the next just by thinking about it. I landed here in Oz at the lair of a wicked witch plotting to overthrow Ozma. We need to warn her and fast!”
“Well, if you want fast I can manage to go just as fast as you want,” said the Saw-Horse, with an obvious sense of pride. “Since I’m not made out of living stuff and just old wood, I never get tired. I might split a leg from time to time but nothing serious.”
“Great,” said Jenny, “but I have to ask you one quick favor before we go.”
Jenny pulled out her cell phone and told the pair to say cheese. This was no problem for Jack, since he always had a smile carved into his face. The Saw-Horse had only a rough gash for a mouth but managed to make his knotty eyes appear full of good humor. Once the picture was taken, Jenny hopped behind Jack on the wooden equine’s back. The Saw-Horse reared up on his back legs and then dashed off with a mighty leap. The girl could not contain her laughter as the Land of Oz whizzed past.
Just as Jenny and her new friends disappeared into the woods, Mogo emerged driving a chariot pulled by a team of a dozen kalidahs. The animals are excellent trackers and immediately picked up on Jenny’s scent. The witch snapped a long whip over their heads and sent the train of beasts racing after her.

After little more than an hour, the Saw-Horse came to a sudden halt, causing Jack to fly over his head and into a small pond. Jenny leapt off the horse’s back and helped Jack out of the pond. After she was certain he was once more steady on his feet, Jenny looked around her surroundings and discovered that they were in front of a large pink palace guarded by a large retinue of women soldiers.
“This is Glinda’s palace,” said the Saw-Horse. “She will know what to do when it comes to a wicked witch.”
Just as the Saw-Horse said this, the gates of the palace opened and at the head of a double row of gorgeous lady soldiers was a beautiful young woman. She had sparkling blue eyes, long red hair that fell about her shoulders in ringlets and wore a flowing, pink dress. This was Glinda, the Good Witch of the South.
“Greetings, Jenny Everywhere,” said Glinda. “I have been expecting you.”
“Really,” said a surprised Jenny. “You knew we were coming?”
“Oh, you have read all of the books Mr. Baum wrote about our faerie country. You should be quite aware that I have the Great Book of Records in my possession, which tells me everything that happens in Oz as soon as it occurs. Now, my precious Ms. Everywhere, we need to wait for Lady Mogo to appear. After she has been taken care of, we will have more time to chat,” said Glinda in a gentle, soothing voice.
Standing next to the beautiful and regal Glinda made Jenny feel under dressed in green boots, torn black tights, khaki cargo skirt, Ramones t-shirt and green hoodie. Just as she was about to comment on Glinda’s dress, Jack gave out a wail.
“Oh, no,” the pumpkin headed fellow shouted, pointing towards the road leading to Glinda’s palace.
Mogo was rushing towards the gate, snapping at the kalidahs with her whip and shouting at them to move faster. Glinda’s soldiers quickly formed a wall and thrust out their spears. The witch urged the team to go even faster. Just as the kalidahs were about to smash through the women, the soldiers parted and Mogo’s chariot rocketed straight into the palace.
As the chariot rushed past her, a claw-like lantern holder on its side caught hold of Jenny’s scarf. She was yanked off of her feet and flew through the air tethered to the chariot. Mogo looked over her shoulder and began to cackle madly. This caused her to not notice her team rushing into the great glowing square in the grand foyer of the palace.
The world around them went a dark blue. The Kalidahs stopped suddenly, causing the team to crash into each other, which sent the chariot sailing into the air. Jenny’s scarf pulled free from the chariot and she fell with a teeth rattling jolt on her behind. The chariot crashed and Mogo was tossed from it. The witch landed on top of the pile of groaning kalidahs.
Jenny rose unsteadily to her feet and saw numerous heavy, wooden doors materializing in the air above her. Mogo also made it to her feet and had transformed her hands into scaly talons with long, curling black claws. A pair of bat wings sprung from the center of her back and she flew at Jenny with her talons slashing violently through the air.
“You are going to die for forcing me to confront Glinda too soon,” squawked the witch.
Jenny braced herself and went into her best fighting stance. Her heart was racing but she could also not believe her luck to be facing down a witch in Oz. A ball of scintillating white energy slammed into Mogo’s side. The sorceress crashed into one of the room’s radiating blue walls with terrible force.
“Just in time, I would say, eh girls? What do you think, Mogo?,” asked a familiar voice from over head.
Jenny turned to look and was surprised to see that out all the doors that had materialized in the room emerged a different Glinda. They were all beautiful and all different. There were old, matronly Glindas and spunky teenaged Glindas. A fox-person Glinda floated on a magic carpet and a Black Glinda had a wreath of crystal spheres floating around her head. A morbidly obese Glinda sat in a winged throne that flew in great circles around the room.
Mogo rose to her feet. She was restored to her original appearance and had a look of complete terror on her face. She was surrounded by dozens of Glindas. Her team of kalidahs huddled together for a quick conference and then sped out of the strange blue space as fast as their tired legs could propel them. Mogo was alone.
“What kind of sorcery is this?,” demanded Mogo.
“You obviously are not used to dealing with the multiverse, are you?,” teased Jenny.
“Oh, don’t pick on the poor girl for having an incomplete education,” said the Glinda that greeted Jenny, Jack and the Saw-Horse when they first arrived.
“I was taught by the greatest witch in Oz,” protested Mogo, which caused all of the Glindas to twitter with laughter.
“Oh, you poor, delusional thing. You never got to the most important aspect of an education in our craft–the true nature of everything. It’s what makes all of what we call magic possible,” said a beaming Glinda-Prime, as Jenny now thought of her.
“This is insanity,” yelled Mogo, who now had tears in her eyes.
“No, this is the Legion of Glindas. We represent Glindas from across every reality and work from out of our Possibility Boxes to lend each other a hand,” said Glinda just as a pair of Glindas, one with a beard and one with a set of curling rams horns, brought a door on to the floor.
The door opened and out stepped a bent over, green skinned old witch dressed in the same costume as Mogo.
“Mistress,” shouted Mogo, who ran to the old hag and wrapped her in an embrace.
“Technically, not yet. In my reality, the witches known as wicked are the heroes fighting against the evil Wizard and his minions. My student, also named Mogo, was eaten by the Ferocious Lion. If you are interested, you can come with me and continue your education and perhaps provide an old woman some company,” said the old witch with a gnarly, gapped tooth smile.
Mogo began to sob and hugged the hag for all of her life.
“Can I bring my pet brain?,” asked Mogo.
“Of course, dearie, of course,” said the witch gently as she patted Mogo on the head.
The Legion of Glindas broke into applause. Jenny could not help it and joined in the applause as well.
One Month Later . . .
Jenny waved goodbye to her friends. Glinda presented her a back pack filled with photos of her travels through Oz. Jenny gave Ozma and Dorothy kisses on the cheek and then hugged Jack and Saw-Horse. She checked her hair in the polished, metal coverings of Tik-Tok the clockwork man and then waved farewell to everyone else.
“It’s been an amazing couple of weeks, guys, but I’ve got to go,” she shouted through cupped hands.
“Remember, Jenny Everywhere, no matter where you end up in life, you always have a home here with us in Oz. Pretty much all of the Lands of Oz are open to you. The Legion of Glindas have made sure you will be welcomed as a true friend no matter which version of our faerie land you end up in,” said Glinda while giving Jenny a hug.
Jenny thanked her and blew a kiss to the assorted Oz glitterati. She then focused, found a doorway and shifted.

***
Jenny found herself surrounded by tall pillars and the crumbling ramparts of an ancient castle. Wind blowing through the remains of the structure caused a lonesome moaning that sent a chill up her spine. About the ruins were the statues of kings and queens, knights and creatures like centaurs and satyrs.
“This place feels familiar,” said Jenny as she took a seat on a toppled pillar.
“Who are you?,” a young man’s voice demanded.
Jenny spun around and saw two boys and girls dressed in armor and carrying weapons staring down upon her from on top a crumbling staircase. A massive lion trotted up behind them. Jenny felt the lion’s eyes piercing through her. The creature had an air of undeniable authority and power. He was used to leading and inspiring. His was a power that was unquestionable and irresistible, at least according to him.
“Yeah, sorry, I’m not into holy wars! Later,” said Jenny and shifted out of there.

Who Is Jenny Everywhere?

If you read the most recent post on this blog, in which I presented a story in which a spunky young woman named Jenny Everywhere landed in Oz, you might be wondering just who is this Jenny person and what does she have to do with "A Zen Master In Oz"?

Well, Jenny Everywhere (A.K.A. The Shifter) was created in 2002-2003 by Steven Wintle and members of the Barbelith.com forums as an open source character. As an open source character, Jenny is available to be used by any one in any way they want. The only stipulation that her creators have placed on her use is that the writer/artist/film maker etc. include this paragraph in the work:
The character of Jenny Everywhere is available for use by anyone, with only one condition. This paragraph must be included in any publication involving Jenny Everywhere, in order that others may use this property as they wish. All rights reversed.

Jenny was created with the intent to add to the collective culture that we all share, represented quite well by the public domain, which is where are Oz pals can be found. Jenny, like Dorothy and Ozma, is not owned by anyone. Unlike the Oz folks, Jenny did not have her copywrite status elapse. Instead, she was created to belong to the world.

The result has been that Jenny has been used by creators in a wide variety of stories. Some of them are straight ahead sci-fi adventure tales and others are tongue in cheek "naturalist" nudey comics. She has proven to be the source of some wild and often very entertaining art. She is a sterling example of the importance and benefit of a common, shared cultural resource of ideas.

Since Jenny has the ability to "shift" from one reality to the other, as well as existing simultaneously in every reality, it only made sense that she would drop in on her fellow public domain figures in Oz. If Oz and Jenny were owned by some media conglomerate, like say Spiderman and Batman are, the meeting of the two concepts would be full of legal trip wires.

To learn more about what Jenny has been up to check out the excellent Shifter Archives.

Jenny Everywhere In Oz
By
Kass Stone
The character of Jenny Everywhere is available for use by anyone, with only one condition. This paragraph must be included in any publication involving Jenny Everywhere, in order that others may use this property as they wish. All rights reversed.

1.
The big semi-truck slid sideways up the highway with its breaks and tires screeching. The vehicle became a blur of moving parts and noise before taking the form of a 3 storey tall robot. Jenny pulled herself off of the pavement and ran between the feet of the mechanical, alien warrior just as its arch-nemesis came crashing down from the air. Where Jenny once stood was now another giant, extraterrestrial robotic warrior. The new comer let out a metallic laugh and shot the semi-truck android in the chest with a blast from its laser cannon.

“This is not as fun as it looked on TV,” grumbled Jenny as she closed her eyes and focused on the pulsating rhythms of the multiverse.

A robot soldier/VW Bug exploded into a million pieces just a few yards to Jenny’s right. Chunks of smoldering metal and rubber rained down. A gateway appeared in Jenny’s mind and she focused. A flaming tire came hurtling down towards her. The gateway opened and Jenny “shifted” through it.
***
Sparks rained down on as Jenny shifted into the new reality. A spark fell between the folds of her scarf. She screamed and slapped at the burn, hoping to prevent the scarf from going up in flames. Red laser beams flew overhead. She fell to her stomach, pulled the aviator goggles from on top of her head and snapped them over her eyes.

More soldiers! This time dressed in white and black body armor. The white soldiers fired large laser rifles and appeared to make steady progress up the corridor they were fighting in. Jenny rolled out of the way and pressed herself up against the metal wall. A panel just above her head flashed instructions in an alien language.

Coming up the opposite end of the corridor were skinny, bird-like robots firing away with their own large laser rifles.

“Ugh, more gun loving robots,” groaned Jenny and immediately began focusing on new path ways.

Green and red lasers filled the air. Every now and then the zapping, shrieking sounds of the guns would be punctuated by a scream. Another doorway opened up and she went through.

***
Jenny ran her fingers through her short, spiky hair and sighed. She slipped the goggles back to their place atop her head and wiped the sweat from her brow.

“I’ve got to start picking better universes to visit. I’m tired of all this gunplay,” mumbled Jenny as she pulled herself off of the packed dirt floor.

A quick examination of her surroundings confirmed that the room she was in was part of a series of caverns . On the walls hung heavy tapestries depicting witches and wizards huddled over cauldrons, summoning demons and all sorts of other magical business. There were bookshelves creaking under the weight of thick, heavy tomes. Tables laden with gurgling vials and mysterious looking jars cluttered the place while a black cauldron hung in a rough hewn fireplace.

On the far side of the room was a large aquarium filled with blue tinged water. Swimming back and forth in the tank was a big, pink brain. The brain propelled itself by moving the stem hanging from its base back and forth like a fish’s tail.

Jenny walked over to the tank and tapped on the glass with a rough, chipped fingernail. The brain darted away from her side of the tank. She examined the nails on her hands. The black fingernail polish she put on back when she was visiting the Green Lama had almost completely vanished.

“See something you like,” asked a hissing voice from behind her.

Jenny made to turn in order to face the speaker but a hard blow to the side of her head sent the “Shifter” unconscious to the floor.

2.
A strange sensation brought Jenny to. A rough, wet tongue was licking her knee through the hole in her black tights. She opened her eyes and saw that the tongue belonged to a large, frightening looking beast with the head of a tiger and body of a bear. Jenny was suspended above the floor in a cramped metal cage and the animal was standing on its hind legs to reach her.

“Are you making friends or are you hungry,” the girl asked the animal.

A chorus of growls from a half dozen other tiger-headed, bear-bodied creatures answered the question for her. Jenny tried to raise herself up but was stuck in a kneeling, bent over position due to the tight dimensions of the pen she was trapped in.

The big animals circled below her. They were obviously looking forward to devouring her. It also sounded as if they were laughing.

“Hey, do you guys talk,” Jenny asked the creatures. “It’s no big deal. I’ve met plenty of talking animals in my travels.”

The largest of the animals quickly sat on his haunches and cleared his throat.

“Yes, we do talk and yes, we are planning on eating you,” the creature said. “We are the Crrrowwll Pack of Kalidahs in the service of the great liberator Mogo of the Southeast!”

“Kalidahs! You’re kalidahs,” Jenny shouted with sudden recognition. “This must be Oz! I love Oz. I was hoping I’d land here eventually.”

The kalidahs starred at her with blank eyes. The silence was broken by a hissing scream.
“Do not eat her yet! I need her. She is full of strange magic,” said a very tall blue skinned woman dressed in traditional witch garb of black frock dress, thick soled boots with narrow toes and tall, pointy black hat.

The woman would have been beautiful if not for the fact that she was missing a nose. She had only a pair of nostril slits which flared with rage as she stood in the entrance to the room. Orange eyes glared out from her face while a green tongue ran across thin, purple lips.

“Magic? What are you talking about, lady,” demanded Jenny.

“Oh, you can’t hide your magic from me. I am Lady Mogo, the greatest sorceress in Oz. I studied under the Wicked Witch of the East herself and have spent the past decades in hiding, practicing my art and waiting to spring my vengeance on Glinda, Ozma and all of their allies,” said the witch.

“Look,” said Jenny, “I think it’s really cute and all. Really, I do. This out for vengeance plot with your cartoon animal goons and secret hideout is quite charming. It really is. The problem is that you guys never get away with this kind of thing and on top of that you are obviously stupid. What I’m capable of has nothing to do with magic.”

A rattling, shuttering sound, like old bones being blown across the desert, arose from Mogo. The kalidah’s backed away and out of the room. The witch began trembling and streams of green and violet energy swarmed about her hands.

Jenny began rocking the cage back and forth, causing it to swing on its chain. Mogo threw a crackling ball of energy at Jenny just as the cage reared away from the witch. The energy ball severed the chain. The cage crashed to the floor and Jenny was expelled through the locked door and out onto the packed dirt floor.

The “Shifter” bolted for the entrance. The witch chased after. Jenny reached into a hip pocket of her cargo skirt and pulled out a large, yellow egg. She tossed the egg in Mogo’s path as if it were a hand grenade. The egg split open and a long, writhing feline headed dragon came exploding out of it.

Cat-Faced Dragons are hatched full size and furious. The gold and blue monster sprayed orange and yellow flames at Mogo. A shield materialized in the witch’s hand. Flames flicked along the edges of the shield and singed her fingers. The sorceress promised herself that she would personally choke the life out of Jenny with her bare hands.

3.
Jenny ran as fast as she could through the thick wilderness outside Mogo’s cave. Soon the sound of her Doc Martins pounding on the forest floor was louder than the battle between the witch and dragon.

She had the ability to shift out this reality when she felt like it, but the opportunity to save Oz from an actual wicked witch was too much for Jenny to resist. The idea that just around the next tree could be the Tin-Man or Scarecrow motivated her to run even when it felt as if her heart was about to burst in her chest.

After nearly 20 minutes of running, a road appeared. Jenny stopped at the roadside and struggled to regain her breath. Little dots of light floated in her vision as her heartbeat slowed and her lungs quit struggling. With her heart beat no longer sounding like a bass drum in her head, Jenny was able to hear the clop-clopping sound coming her way down the brick paved road.

What came trotting up the road made Jenny clap her hands in excitement. It was the Saw-Horse and riding on top of the roughly made wooden horse was none other than Jack Pumpkinhead himself. The stick man with the jack-o-lantern head waved at the beaming Jenny and The Saw-Horse came to a stop along side of her.

“Hello, stranger,” said Jack. “My pumpkin is getting kind of soft, but you look like you are not from around here.”

Jenny laughed and wrapped her arms around the Saw-Horse’s neck.

“Pretty friendly where you come from, eh,” asked The Saw-Horse.

“You have to forgive me,” giggled a slightly star struck Shifter. “My name is Jenny Everywhere. I’m from . . .”

“America,” interrupted Jack. “You sound a lot like Dorothy does and she is from America, though you don’t exactly look like her. You kind of resemble the Chinese people in the picture books of the rest of the world Dorothy has but you also look kind of like the Indians from America in the other book Dorothy showed me. Are you an Indian, Chinese or something else?”

“Yep,” said Jenny with a smile. “I can also travel from one world to the next just by thinking about it. I landed here in Oz at the lair of a wicked witch plotting to overthrow Ozma. We need to warn her and fast!”

“Well, if you want fast I can manage to go just as fast as you want,” said The Saw-Horse, with an obvious sense of pride. “Since I’m not made out of living stuff and just old wood, I never get tired. I might split a leg from time to time but nothing serious.”

“Great,” said Jenny, “but I have to ask you one quick favor before we go.”

Jenny pulled out her cell phone and told the pair to say cheese. This was no problem for Jack, since he always had a smile carved into his face. The Saw-Horse had only a rough gash for a mouth but managed to make his knotty eyes appear full of good humor. Once the picture was taken, Jenny hopped behind Jack on the wooden equine’s back. The Saw-Horse reared up on his back legs and then dashed off with a mighty leap. The girl could not contain her laughter as the Land of Oz whizzed past.

Just as Jenny and her new friends disappeared into the woods, Mogo emerged driving a chariot pulled by a team of a dozen kalidahs. The animals are excellent trackers and immediately picked up on Jenny’s scent. The witch snapped a long whip over their heads and sent the train of beasts racing after her.

4.
After little more than an hour, The Saw-Horse came to a sudden halt, causing Jack to fly over his head and into a small pond. Jenny leapt off the horse’s back and helped Jack out of the pond. After she was certain he was once more steady on his feet, Jenny looked around her surroundings and discovered that they were in front of a large pink palace guarded by a large retinue of women soldiers.

“This is Glinda’s palace,” said The Saw-Horse. “She will know what to do when it comes to a wicked witch.”

Just as the Saw-Horse said this, the gates of the palace opened and at the head of a double row of gorgeous lady soldiers was a beautiful young woman. She had sparkling blue eyes, long red hair that fell about her shoulders in ringlets and wore a flowing, pink dress. This was Glinda, The Good Witch of the South.

“Greetings, Jenny Everywhere”, said Glinda. “I have been expecting you.”

“Really,” said a surprised Jenny. “You knew we were coming?”

“Oh, you have read all of the books Mr. Baum wrote about our faerie country. You should be quite aware that I have the Great Book of Records in my possession, which tells me everything that happens in Oz as soon as it occurs. Now, my precious Ms. Everywhere, we need to wait for Lady Mogo to appear. After she has been taken care of, we will have more time to chat,” said Glinda in a gentle, soothing voice.

Standing next to the beautiful and regal Glinda made Jenny feel under dressed in green boots, torn black tights, khaki cargo skirt, Ramones t-shirt and green hoodie. Just as she was about to comment on Glinda’s dress, Jack gave out a wail.

“Oh, no,” the pumpkin headed fellow shouted, pointing towards the road leading to Glinda’s palace.

5.
Mogo was rushing towards the gate, snapping the kalidahs with her whip and shouting at them to move faster. Glinda’s soldiers quickly formed a wall and thrust out their spears. The witch urged the team to go even faster. Just as the kalidahs were about to smash through the women, the soldier’s parted and Mogo’s chariot rocketed straight into the palace.

As the chariot rushed past her, a claw like lantern holder on its side caught hold of Jenny’s scarf. She was yanked off of her feet and flew through the air tethered to the chariot. Mogo looked over her shoulder and began to cackle madly. This caused her to not notice her team rushing into the great glowing square in the grand foyer of the palace.

The world around them went a dark blue. The Kalidahs stopped suddenly, causing the team to crash into each other, which sent the chariot sailing into the air. Jenny’s scarf pulled free from the chariot and she fell with a teeth rattling jolt on her behind. The chariot crashed and Mogo was tossed from it. The witch landed on top of the pile of groaning kalidahs.

Jenny rose unsteadily to her feet and saw numerous heavy, wooden doors materializing in the air above her. Mogo also made it to her feet and had transformed her hands into scaly talons with long, curling black claws. A pair of bat wings sprung from the center of her back and she flew at Jenny with her talons slashing violently through the air.

“You are going to die for forcing me to confront Glinda too soon,” squawked the witch.

Jenny braced herself and went into her best fighting stance. Her heart was racing but she could also not believe her luck to be facing down a witch in Oz. A ball of scintillating white energy slammed into Mogo’s side. The sorceress crashed into one of the room’s radiating blue walls with terrible force.

“Just in time, I would say, eh girls? What do you think, Mogo,” asked a familiar voice from over head.

Jenny turned to look and was surprised to see that out all the doors that had materialized in the room emerged a different Glinda. They were all beautiful and all different. There were old, matronly Glindas and spunky teenaged Glindas. A fox-person Glinda floated on a magic carpet and a Black Glinda had a wreath of crystal spheres floating around her head. A morbidly obese Glinda sat in a winged throne that flew in great circles around the room.

Mogo rose to her feet. She was restored to her original appearance and had a look of complete terror on her face. She was surrounded by dozens of Glindas. Her team of kalidahs huddled together for a quick conference and then sped out of the strange blue space as fast as their tired legs could propel them. Mogo was alone.

“What kind of sorcery is this,” demanded Mogo.

“You obviously are not used to dealing with the multiverse, are you,” teased Jenny.

“Oh, don’t pick on the poor girl for having an incomplete education,” said the Glinda that greeted Jenny, Jack and the Saw-Horse when they first arrived.

“I was taught by the greatest witch in Oz,” protested Mogo, which caused all of the Glindas to twitter with laughter.

“Oh, you poor, delusional thing. You never got to the most important aspect of an education in our craft – the true nature of everything. It’s what makes all of what we call magic possible,” said a beaming Glinda-Prime, as Jenny now thought of her.

“This is insanity,” yelled Mogo, who now had tears in her eyes.

“No, this is the Legion of Glindas. We represent Glinda’s from across every reality and work from out of our Possibility Boxes to lend each other a hand,” said Glinda just as a pair of Glindas, one with a beard and one with a set of curling rams horns, brought a door on to the floor.

The door opened and out stepped a bent over, green skinned old witch dressed in the same costume as Mogo.

“Mistress,” shouted Mogo, who ran to the old hag and wrapped her in an embrace.

“Technically, not yet. In my reality, the witches known as wicked are the heroes fighting against the evil Wizard and his minions. My student, also named Mogo, was eaten by the Ferocious Lion. If you are interested, you can come with me and continue your education and perhaps provide an old woman some company,” said the old witch with a gnarly, gapped tooth smile.

Mogo began to sob and hugged the hag for all of her life.

“Can I bring my pet brain,” asked Mogo.

“Of course, dearie, of course,” said the witch gently as she patted Mogo on the head.
The Legion of Glindas broke into applause. Jenny could not help it and joined in the applause as well.


Jenny waved goodbye to her friends. Glinda presented her a back pack filled with photos of her travels through Oz. She gave Ozma and Dorothy kisses on the cheek and then hugged Jack and Saw-Horse. She checked her hair in the polished, metal hide of Tik-Tok the clockwork man and then waved farewell to everyone else.

“It’s been an amazing couple of weeks, guys, but I’ve got to go,” she shouted through cupped hands.

“Remember, Jenny Everywhere, no matter where you end up in life, you always have a home here with us in Oz. Pretty much all of the Lands of Oz are open to you. The Legion of Glindas have made sure you will be welcomed as a true friend no matter which version of our faerie land you end up in,” said Glinda while given Jenny a hug.

Jenny thanked her and blew a kiss to the assorted Oz glitterati. She then focused, found a doorway and shifted.

***
Jenny found herself surrounded by tall pillars and the crumbling ramparts of an ancient castle. Wind blowing through the remains of the structure caused a lonesome moaning that sent a chill up her spine. About the ruins were the statues of kings and queens, knights and creatures like centaurs and satyrs.

“This place feels familiar,” said Jenny as she took a seat on a toppled pillar.

“Who are you,” a young man’s voice demanded.

Jenny spun around and saw two boys and girls dressed in armor and carrying weapons staring down upon her from on top a crumbling staircase. A massive lion trotted up behind them. Jenny felt the lion’s eyes piercing through her. The creature had an air of undeniable authority and power. He was used to leading and inspiring. His was a power that was unquestionable and irresistible, at least according to him.

“Yeah, sorry, I’m not into holy wars! Later,” said Jenny and shifted out of there.

The Beauty of the Public Domain

Ah, the Public Domain! It is the well refuge of our cultural heritage and the well spring from which works such as A Zen Master In Oz arise.
In the United States an author's copyright on his/her work expires 70 years following their death. The copyright held by the publisher on material published from 1978 to present ends either 95 years after publication or 120 years after creation, depending on which is shorter. All copyrights prior to 1923 have expired. Work created from 1923 - 1963 expire 95 years following publication. Work published 1963 - 1977 also have their copywrites expire after 95 years. Material that does not have its copywrites regularly renewed during the period that they can be kept under copywrite production have theirs expire after 28 years.
In the UK it is a bit simpler. Copywrites for an author expire 70 years after their death. A publisher's copywrite ends 50 years after a product is released.
Things are different when it comes to Trademarks, since they do not expire as long as they are being used by a specific organization.
So, what happens to a book when 70 years pass since its author's death and it's been 95 years since it's been published? The book and it's locations, characters etc. go into the public domain, where they are free for anybody to play with. This can also happen if the owner of a copywrite does not have it renewed after 28 years. This is how things like comicbooks and movies etc. from just a few decades ago can end up in the public domain.
L. Frank Baum saw The Wonderful Wizard of Oz in 1900 and died in 1919. This puts all of the characters and places he created for that story well into the public domain. He wrote 17 Oz novels before his death. All of those works have passed into the public domain. That means nobody owns them or, if looked at from a different angle, everybody owns them. Dorothy, Scarecrow, Tin Man, Patchwork Girl, Tik-Tok, Ozma, Glinda and all the rest of the inhabitants of Oz created by Baum belong to the world. They are now part of our collective culture no strings attached.
What has this made possible? Well, if these works were not in the public domain we would not have gotten Gregory Maquire's Wicked and its sequels, which in turn spawned the hugely popular and awfully entertaining (and I usually loathe musicals) Broadway/West End musical version of Wicked. This musical has been inspiring kids around the world to be like the misunderstood "Ephelba" and sing songs about being "Popular". Of the hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of children that are inspired by Wicked, a few of them are going to use that inspiration to create new works of art using Baum's characters in new and exciting ways. If the Oz universe was owned lock, stock and barrel by a big corporate conglomerate, the whole Wicked phenomenon would have never been. What also would have never been was my little book, A Zen Master In Oz.
The Public Domain is where are common dreams are allowed to grow and be picked up by new generations. The maintaining of laws that allow works to "lapse" into public domain are essential to guaranteeing are shared culture does not become another commodity owned by a faceless corporation.

What Is Zen by Zen Master Seung Sahn.

What is Zen?
Zen is very simple... What are you?

In this whole
world everyone searches for happiness outside, but nobody understands their true
self inside.

Everybody says, "I" -- "I want this, I am like that..." But
nobody understands this "I." Before you were born, where did your I come from?
When you die, where will your I go? If you sincerely ask, "what am I?" sooner or
later you will run into a wall where all thinking is cut off. We call this
"don't know."

Zen is keeping this "don't know" mind always and
everywhere.

When walking, standing, sitting,
lying down, speaking,
being
silent, moving, being still.
At all times, in all places, without
interruption -- what is this?
One mind is infinite kalpas.

Meditation in Zen means keeping don't-know mind when bowing, chanting
and sitting Zen. This is formal Zen practice. And when doing something, just do
it. When driving, just drive; when eating, just eat; when working, just work.

Finally, your don't-know mind will become clear. Then you can see the
sky, only blue. You can see the tree, only green. Your mind is like a clear
mirror. Red comes, the mirror is red; white comes the mirror is white. A hungry
person comes, you can give him food; a thirsty person comes, you can give her
something to drink. There is no desire for myself, only for all beings. That
mind is already enlightenment, what we call Great Love, Great Compassion, the
Great Bodhisattva Way. It's very simple, not difficult!

So Buddha said
that all beings have Buddha-nature (enlightenment nature). But Zen Master Joju
said that a dog has no Buddha-nature. Which one is right? Which one is wrong? If
you find that, you find the true way.

For about Seung Sahn and his teachings go to http://www.kwanumzen.com/

Media DemocratOZation

Still shocked that Shambala Sun, an otherwise wonderful publication, does not review books published exclusively for digital download. This bothers me not just because it means A Zen Master In Oz will not be reviewed in Shambala Sun but because how it stands in opposition to the inevitable wave of media democratization that has been steadily growing over the past couple of decades. We've seen well established writers like Stephen King (Riding the Bullett - 2000, The Plant - 2000 and Ur - 2009), write books exclusively for download and have tremendous success. While I'm not Mr. King by a looooong shot when it comes to literary success and celebrity, the tremendous numbers of people that downloaded his stories demonstrates that there is a large audience out there quite happy to read a book they have to download. In 2010 Amazon.com sold more "e-books" than it did paperbacks for the first time in its history. This trend will continue to grow as Kindle, Nook, iPad, iPhone and other such devices become more and more commonplace.
This puts big publishers in a precarious position. They exist because they controlled the means through which an author's work could be experienced by the audience. The Publishers dictated what got published, how it was distributed and where it could be purchased. They had these powers because they had the resources to pay for books to be published - covering the cost of paper, binding, printing, art work etc. In this new world the need for a physical "book" has been eliminated by technology and thus the things that the publishers could provide an author have been made obsolete. This means that the publishers are no longer the gate keepers of what can make it out to the public.
Editors and the heads of publishing houses, which are quite often owned by big conglomerates with their own corporate agendas to preserve, selected what books could be released to the market. This meant that they got to act as an elite group of shepherds guiding the collective consciousness. Thankfully, they have been relegated to nigh-dinosaur status. The only thing they still have in their arsenal are large advertising budgets. This though, can be combated through hard work and clever grassroots advertising efforts.
The same thing has happened to other sectors of the media, most notably in the music industry. Anybody with the gumption has the ability to put their work out into the world. In the not too distant future, even Grandma will be totally comfortable with going on a website, plugging in her interests and have the website recommend books whose descriptions match her interests. This 21st Century Grandma will also have no problem selecting a book or two from the recommendations and then downloading them onto her Kindle, iPhone or whatever platform she is using. 21st Century Grandma won't give a damn about who the publisher of the books she downloaded is. She, like the vast majority of readers, only purchases books based on their content not what branch of a corporation approved it for the masses.
21st Century Grandma and 21st Century Grandkids will also have no problem with not going into the often fetishized environs of a bookstore. Small books stores only survive these days if the owners have managed to find a niche to fill. Otherwise, they are limping buy year from year. This is because of the rise of mega-bookstore chains like Barnes & Noble and Borders. These stores, with their phoney hipster coffee shops and rows of non-book related chintz have dominated the book selling universe. The buyers for these chains gained huge influence on the publishing world since the vast majority of books being sold came through them, as well as big box monsters like Walmart etc. These buyers in effect determined the kinds of books being published, which were the books they sold the most of. There was no room for the new, weird or experimental in this landscape.
The death grip the big publishers and bookstore chains has had on the public is being loosened every day. It will probably take a big break out success coming from the e-book world to finally put a nail in the coffin of the oligarchy the corporate world held over the world's literary scene. In the meantime, things are developing to a point of critical mass from which that breakout will launch. Anybody not prepared for that moment will be left behind as the world races forward.

Sundance Film Festival 2011 "Sasquatch Birth Journal 2"

Is this footage of a relative of Hank Sasquatch from A Zen Master In Oz being born?

Digital Books Are The Future

The folks at Shambala Sun magazine have informed me that their publication only reviews books available in print format. They are an excellent magazine that does a good job of promoting the Dharma and helping the American Buddhist community feel connected and aware of what is happening worldwide. This time though, I'm afraid they are missing the boat. Digital books published exclusively for download on to platforms like Kindle as well as laptops and smart phones are the future. This is not exclusively about me. While I would love too see A Zen Master In Oz reviewed in Shambala Sun, I also hate to imagine all of the excellent work people are doing out there that the magazine will not be covering. I also would hate to see such an exceptional publication be left on the curb while everyone else is blasting forward into the future. Contact the magazine at magazine@shambalasun.com and let them know that you want them to review books published exclusively for digital download.

The folks at the International Wizard of Oz Club have said that A Zen Master In Oz will be discussed in an upcoming issue of The Baum Beagle!

Ten Coolest Robots Of All Time.

L. Frank Baum created one of the first robots in literature when he wrote Ozma of Oz in 1907 and introduced the popular clockwork man Tik-Tok. Tik-Tok proved very popular and made appearance in several of the "Famous 40" Oz books by Baum and later Ruth Plumly Thompson and John R. Neill. He was even the star of a play wrote in 1913 titled The Tik-Tok Man Of Oz, which Baum in turn remade as the novel Tik-Tok of Oz. Tik-Tok was one of the "new" friends made in 1985's Return To Oz (one of the most underated 1980s fantasy flicks).
We here at The Emerald City Zen Center have gone through tedious and thorough scientific research to bring you the top ten fictional robots of all time!!!!
10. Tom Servo - The MST3K wise cracking gumball machine
9. ED-209 - Robocop's chicken-walking, malfunctioning death-bot.
8. C-3P0 - Fluent in over 6 million forms of communication!
7. Crow T. Robot - The Satellite of Love's bad boy.
6. Maria - Metropolis' lady maschinenmensch.
5. Marvin The Paranoid Robot - Douglas Adams' zoloft required robot.
4. T-800 - "Are you Sarah Conner?"
3. K-9 - Doctor Who's awesome robot dog.
2. Tik-Tok - The clockwork soldier of Oz.
1. R2D2 - This is the droid you're looking for!

The Ten Greatest Tiny Races

The Munchkins play a large role in A Zen Master In Oz but they are but one of the many races of vertically challenged folks in popular fiction. Here is where I stack the best of the
sci-fi/fantasy shortstacks.
10. The Hobbits - Tolkien's favorite shorties.
9. The Nelwyns - George Lucas' Hobbit knockoff's from Willow. They beat out Hobbits because Warwick Davis is a thousand times cooler than Elisha Wood.
8. The Dwarves - Tolkien's grumpy, cave loving hard cases.
7. The Ewoks - Lucas' bloodthristy teddy bears from the Moon of Endor.
6. The Jawas - C-3P0 can't abide these little half-pint, cosmic rag and bone men.
5. The Oompa-Loompas - Willy Wonka's creepy chocolate addicted labor force.
4. The Graske - Doctor Who and his pal Sarah Jane's pint-sized troublemaking pals.
3. The Goblins - The knee high jerks that terrorized the young Jennifer Connelly in Labyrinth.
2. The Munchkins - The Evil Witch hating denizens of the Country of the Munchkins.
1. What Ever Yoda Is - Was there any doubt?

Top Ten Fictional Princess.

For the most part I find the whole "princess" archetype in most fiction to be annoying at best and disgusting at worst. Can you think of a worst role model for a girl than a young woman who only exists to validate a man's existance by first being rescued by the handsome prince and then promptly marrying him. Pop out an heir or two and then their life is pretty much over. Job done. Ugh! As a father of a princess obsessed 4 year old girl, I find those terrible Disney princesses sneaking into my life. No matter how much we've tried to keep her away from them, Ariel and the girls make their way in! So, I've been contemplating princesses in fiction quite a bit and found a good selection of ones that actually rock and could be good role models for girls to become independent, self-actualized women.

10. Princess Adora - A.K.A. She-Ra. A rebel leader fighting the evil Horde with super-powers!
9. Princess Fiona - She chose to be an ogre and rejected the traditional princess role.
8. Xena - She's a warrior princess that doesn't need a dude for nothing and I mean nothing!
7. Princess Diana of Paradise Island - Wonder Woman!
6. Princess Leia Organa - She can smell Vadar's stench as soon as she's on board!
5. Princess Ozma - The enlightened and peace loving monarch of Oz.
4. Princess Elizabeth - She defeats a dragon, tells the prince off and looks great in a paper bag.
3. Princess Eilonwy - Sorceress + tomboy = cool.
2. Princess Eowyn - The best character in the Lord of the Rings.
1. Princess Dorothy Gale - The People's Princess!
For more Dorothy and Ozma check out A Zen Master In Oz!

The Magic Cloak of Oz - Part 1

Some more silent era Oz.